DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

 

The red flags and warning signs of an abuser include but are not limited to the following:

• Was abused by a parent or grew up in a home where one adult was abused by another adult.

• Extreme jealousy and/or possessive

• Unpredictability-extremely moody, and switches quickly from very nice to exploding in anger – “Dr. Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde”

• History of bad relationships

• Hypersensitive

• Cruelty to animals

• Uses guilt trips – says “If you really loved me…” or “I need you so much”

• Extremely controlling behavior – is bossy, makes all of the decisions

• Becoming too serious to quickly – is quick to say “I love you”

• Isolates partner from support systems

• Antiquated beliefs about roles of women and men in relationships

• Forced sex or disregard of their partner’s unwillingness to have sex

• Sabotage of birth control methods or refusal to honor agreed upon methods

• Blaming the victim for anything bad that happens

• Blames others for their own misbehavior or failures

• Destroys your property or things that are important to you

• Intimidates or threatens violence or force during arguments

• Lacks understanding of your personal schedule or obligations – sabotage or obstruction of the victim’s ability to work or attend school

• Their control of all finances

• Abuse of other family members, children, or pets

• Accusations of the victim flirting with others or having an affair

• Control of what the victim wears and how they act

• Demeaning the victim either privately or publicly

• Embarrassment or humiliation of the victim in front of others

• Harassment of the victim at work

• Gives gifts to apologize for bad behavior

• Always apologizes for abusive behavior-says “I promise I’ll never do it again”

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DATING VIOLENCE

 

Because relationships exist on a spectrum, it can be hard to tell when a behavior crosses the line from healthy to unhealthy or even abusive.

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Use these warning signs of abuse to see if your relationship is going in the wrong direction:

• Checking your cell phone/email without permission

• Constantly putting you down

• Extreme jealousy or insecurity

• Explosive temper

• Isolating you from family or friends

• Making false accusations

• Mood swings

• Physically hurting you in any way

• Possessiveness

• Telling you what to do

• Pressuring you or forcing you to have sex